Oh how sweet the conviction of the spirit! When we hear the words we don’t really want to hear but we do all the same, those things that the spirit whispers in our ears (or straight up slaps us in the face) in order to wake us up.
Through our studies here in Scotland one of the books we are reading is entitled “Spiritual disciplines for the Christian Life” by Donald S. Whitney. Over the last few weeks we have read about the disciplines of prayer, worship, evangelism, and serving, through all of which I have seen myself lacking.
It is quite easy to get caught up in the daily routine; get up, eat breakfast, prepare lunch (if even that), out the door and off to the world in which we live, either for education, business or pleasure. What is missing here? Where does God fit into all this? Have we forgotten our priorities?
Prior to my time here I will admit that I was just as caught up in my own routine as the next person. I rarely spent time with my Lord and attended church sunday morning simply to hear the sermon and be on my way. In my heart I thought nothing of it, God would understand as long as I tossed a thought or small prayer up to Him sometime during the course of the day, but even then, He deserves so much more than cold lip service! How selfish are my own priorities!
I will not claim that I have become more spiritual through my experience here, I will not even attempt to give some excuse as to why I happen to find more time for prayer and devotion to Christ here than as opposed to back home. There was no super spiritual revelation given to me, no sudden self realization, but simply a humbling wake up call. In the chapter on serving Whitney states:
“Do you remember what it is like not to know Christ, to be without God and without hope? Do you remember what it is like to be guilty before God and unforgiven? Do you remember what it is like to be only a heartbeat away from hell? Now do you remember what it is like to see Jesus Christ with the eyes of faith done by His death and resurrection? Do you remember what it is like to experience forgiveness and deliverance from judgement and hell? Do you remember what it was first like to have the assurance of Heaven and eternal life? When the fire of service to God grows cold, consider what great things the Lord has done for you.”
And while I stared down at the sword buried hilt-deep into my heart I knew that I had been taking all these sweet, undeserved blessing for granted. Who am I that God would even think to spare me the fires of hell? Who am I to neglect to give Him that service and devotion He so rightly deserves? I am not perfect, nor will I ever be, at least not in this present life. How sweet the grace of God, His mercy and His love deserves far more that what I have to offer, yet He chose me, a seashell in a sea of shells. God owes me nothing, I owe Him everything!